When You Are Gone
The hole of air breathes loudly, as I walk upstairs and…
Stillness rocks quietly in the corner of the room.
You may have guessed, that I don’t like it when my loved one leaves. Today I am sat in a very quiet house, having just dropped him off at the airport. The airport has a 10 minute drop of time, so the actual parting is swift and clean. There is little time to think. Only to rush back for one last hug and a quick peck of the cheek. I hate it!
Sometimes I think I am getting better at the parting part of our relationship, but then I pull the car up in the drive, turn the key in the lock, the door slowly opens and everything is quiet – empty quiet. It’s not a quiet I like.
He doesn’t like it either. In the last hours before departure we usually try to find lots of mundane things to discuss, in order to take our minds off ‘the moment’. If it is my turn to leave, he cleans things. At first I found this irritating. I though he couldn’t wait to get rid of me and was already removing any trace. Now I know it’s his way of keeping his mind off the quiet. The quiet that says somebody, whose presence you love, is no longer there.
When you leave, I go back to being just me.
I have always been me.
Tomorrow is a day away.
A day away from you returning.
A tomorrow may come
With you no longer there
Today will show nothing of yesterday,
Except that I am me.
Yesterday will hang on a string,
Lots of glorious moments flapping in the wind,
While today I wait.
Knowing that ultimately
Tomorrow, being always a day away,
I am always me.